


Lost in Space and Time

by demonlifehealer



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Personality, Alternate Reality, Bad Friends, Conditioning, Crisis of Faith, Desperation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Isolation, Loneliness, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Misplaced Faith, Neglect, Partial Mind Control, Past Mind Control, Possessive Behavior, Post-Split, Self-Harm, Social Issues, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 05:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5815948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonlifehealer/pseuds/demonlifehealer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doc has been in the alternate reality of the cube for hundreds of years. The only thing keeping him going is the thought of his friends endlessly searching for a way to get him back. </p><p>....And O'Malley who he subconsciously re-creates to keep himself sane during all that time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost in Space and Time

**Author's Note:**

> I just got done watching Red Vs. Blue season 13. I was so happy they brought O'Malley back! It did make me feel bad on Doc's behalf. Could he have any worse friends? 
> 
> This fic is about Doc coping with extreme isolation with the help of O'Malley and his perspective on being "alone" for all that time.

The endless void carried Doc closer to nothingness. Maybe nothing was what everything was. Was there even a point to existence? These ponderings kept him mostly sane but the Medic knew he was slipping.

How long had he been here? Dufresne had no idea. There had never been a way to keep track of time while he was here. There was no day and night cycles to rely on. There was only the black void. The space didn’t have a temperature, which suited the Medic just fine. He was grateful for small comforts. 

He had tried to keep up a running log of how many days he spent here. When he was first put in the cube he waited for day and night to appear. When Frank realized that day and night didn’t exist here he tried counting down the minutes, however he quickly lost count.

He knew that his friends must be working tirelessly to get him back. He could imagine Sarge yelling out orders to, “ _Hurry the hell up! One of our men is in there! We don’t leave soldiers behind!_ ” He could imagine Simmons running endless algorithms on the teleportation cube to get it open. He could imagine Caboose crying over the loss of one of his best friends, staying up all night crushing his pillow in worry. 

“They’re not looking for you.” An eerie dark voice echoed in the background. Dufresne felt his heartbeat speed up as the sound wrapped around him. The Medic knew there was no escaping it. He knew that blocking it out didn’t work. The best he could do was ignore it. Omega was gone. He knew that. He had seen him being blown up. 

The Medic knew these were auditory hallucinations. He knew it was a symptom of isolation. The purple soldier took a deep breath and began counting down from 100. He needed to tolerate this. He needed to be strong. His friends would be waiting for him. 

\-------

He closed his eyes, or did he open them? The purple soldier couldn’t honestly tell anymore. He visualized looking down at one of his first textbooks on human anatomy. He pretended it was right in front of him, even going so far as to move his hand when he turned the “pages”. If he was going to be here until his friends got him out he could at least go over the basics. 

“Oh come off it! There is nothing there and you know it!” Dufresne ignored the jab and continued “reading”. The dark voice scoffed at him.

“You know you will have to face me eventually. All we have is time here. It’s just you and me.” This time Doc scoffed. 

“We will get out. They just haven’t figured out how to get me out of the cube yet, but oh man! When they do! I wonder if they will be so excited to see me that they will give me bro hugs or if they have a “Welcome Back” party planned. I hope it’s the party! Oh! I hope they have a pinata! I love those things!”

“I wonder how long you can hold out this foolish hope?” The voice darkly stated as it faded away.

“What does he know?” The Medic asked outloud. “I can keep this going forever because the power of friendship doesn’t quit!”

\-------

To his credit, Dufresne did hold out for quite awhile before his mind began to decay. His body shook from the lack of physical touch. He grabbed his standard issue knife and plunged it into his thigh. He didn’t dig all the way. He missed the artery on purpose and only did it enough to hit the first layer of fat and make him bleed. He loved the warmth of the blood. It reminded him that he was alive. He would love to see the red color. He actually had forgotten what colors looked like. He could name them but he could no longer see them. Floating in blackness for fifty years would do that to anyone.

“That’s enough! Foolish human! This body is mine and I will not let you damage it more than necessary!” O’Malley growled as he took control of the other arm and ripped the knife from the numb fingers of the right hand. Doc didn’t put up a fight. He, on principle of being a pacifist never fought the other. 

“They will come, right?” He desperately questioned.

“No, they have forgotten about us.” The other personality stated. The Medic bit his lip as desperation overtook him. 

“No! You’re wrong! They wouldn’t forget about us! Well, at least not me! We’re friends!” Sobs wracked the purple soldier’s body as he imagined the other’s words becoming true. The other growled as he materialized in front of the human. Light and color splashed around the all consuming midnight veil. 

O’Malley stood a few inches taller than Dufresne. His armor was a darker purple which nearly blended in with the space. He was slightly muscular. The Medic had gotten used to O’Malley popping in and out. He knew that it wasn’t the real AI but he couldn’t help but curl up in the other’s lap. 

The other growled and allowed him to do it. Personal space was nearly unheard of when two consciousness shared one body. He felt the warmth of being held and enjoyed it greatly. Vaguely, Dufresne wondered if O’Malley would disappear when his friends found him. 

“Ha! They can try! Foolish humans! I will eat their souls!”

“They might be scared that you’re back.” The Medic muttered as he burrowed deeper into the other’s chest. The warmth surrounded him. Out of what seemed like habit the corrupt personality stroked the back of Dufresne’s head.

“They will have to get over it! I’m not leaving! You will never get rid of me. You hear me? Never! Mwhahaha!” The other laughed.

The laugh made the Medic sigh in relief as he finished his sobs. He didn’t want O’Malley gone. He had never wanted Omega gone. He had thought that maybe there was a chance that the AI could be reformed and join up with the rest of the simulation soldiers. The worst thing that could happen was that he was put in the equivalent of AI prison but even then Doc could visit him every weekend! The Medic had never imagined that the AI would be blown up in front of him. 

Maybe it was this hope which was never realized why his mind latched onto the idea of O’Malley? Dufresne wasn’t stupid. He knew that this O’Malley wasn’t Omega. This O’Malley had a freaking face! A more evil looking copy of himself with darker hair but who cares? This O’Malley was something his mind had created in a last ditch attempt to protect itself.

Doc knew that he had long since past the possibility of sane. He didn’t care. His friends would find them and then they would deal with the voice in his head. 

\-----

“Hold out your right hand.” He could hear the smirk in the other personality’s voice as his body automatically obeyed. He could feel the satisfaction and amusement coming off of O’Malley in waves.

“Good.” The voice stated as the Medic felt phantom sensations resembling a gentle pat on his back. The human keened like a dog wanting more, A loud laugh came from the Medic’s mouth that didn’t belong to him.

“Admit it. You’re addicted to me.” The other smugly stated as the feeling of touch went up Dufresne’s arms.

“I am not addicted to you! I am undergoing psychological distress and responding in a perfectly natural way. I refuse to be blamed for having coping mechanisms.”

“Is that what you think I am? You filthy, foolish human! I am the nightmare come alive! I am fear itself! I am all you have.” Doc let out a frustrated sigh. 

“Why are we doing this?”

“You need to learn to follow orders. I won’t have your meddling get in the way of my plans if we get out.”

“When.”

“Yes, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“They WILL come!” The Medic insisted.

“No they won’t. They aren’t looking for us, or should I say they aren’t looking for you. In fact, I bet they did nothing after you were put in the cube. I bet they didn’t even notice you were gone. I will not risk this body OR myself OR my plans.”

“You don’t even have plans!”

 

“Oh you foolish, foolish fool! I have so many plans that you could barely comprehend them! I am simply keeping it to myself.” The other cackled. Dufresne had a vague feeling that the other was lying. O’Malley was wrong. His friends hadn’t forgotten about him. He couldn’t remember their faces or colors too well, but he did know that he had friends that were desperately searching for him.

“Hold out your left hand.” The Medic’s body obeyed without though. He leaned forward as he was rewarded with another touch, this time on his stomach.

\-------

The light had been nearly too much. After an eternity of darkness the light that surrounded him burned his eyes. He screamed. And screamed. And screamed. It was too intense. He could hear the piercing sound of his own voice bouncing off the cave walls. The light burned him. The feeling of landing on the dirt of the cave rattled him by the sensations. He shook and screamed.

“Give me control.” The other demanded and without a second thought Dufresne handed it over. He would do anything to make the burning stop.

“Ha! I’m free! Gah! My eyes! Now where the blast is everyone?” The other asked as he scanned the area. The Medic let his consciousness stay in the background. Everything was dim and blurry from his perspective. He bathed in O’Malley’s energy. O’Malley was a pillar of dark strength. He could feel the the bloodlust and excitement of the other. His stomach dropped as he felt the satisfaction of the other. He was immensely happy that the other personality didn’t disappear when he came back to the “real world”. He didn’t know how he would cope otherwise. 

“Where are all of these “friends” that were supposed to be working to find you?” The alternate personality laughed. He had dealt with the sensory overload much faster than the medic.

“Maybe they are on a lunch break?” The Medic guessed. 

“Or maybe they weren’t looking for you at all. You foolish fool! When I say something it would be wise to listen to me instead of being foolishly optimistic! You fool!” The other berated him. The Medic stayed silent but was resolute in the fact that his friends must be looking for him. Maybe someone took the cube! Maybe his friends were in trouble and couldn’t get to him. How he wished he could be of help to the others fighting for his return! The thought nearly brought tears to his eyes. 

O’Malley shook his head. He could feel the disgusting hope and faith that the lesser personality held for these “friends”. In the deepest recesses of his psyche he hopes that maybe the Medic isn’t wrong. He doesn’t want to be forced to feel the betrayal which would eventually color his perception due to Dufresne. They could always feel the other’s emotions. 

\-----

The next week is followed by more questioning about where his “friends” are and relearning basic skills that were forgotten in an eternity in darkness. The Medic comes out more and more. The sensations don’t get to him as much but they are always unexpected in their intensity. Everything is nearly too much. He doesn’t understand how he used to deal with this reality on an everyday basis. When he sleeps he dreams of darkness and O’Malley. 

Finally he hears something. It sounds familiar, like he has been waiting for so long to hear these sounds. Dufresne moans as the painful sounds hit his ears. He is unused to other voices. He gets up, fear flooding his veins, which instinctively brings O’Malley closer to the surface and investigates.

There! His friends! They found him! He knew he could rely on them! The Medic runs to him and they seem surprised to see him. He explains that it was only the thought of them that kept him sane.

He expects a warm receptions. The hugs and the parties that he dreamed about when he was first floating around in the cube. What he learns is that O’Malley is right. O’Malley is always right. They call everyone in their group to see if anyone even knew he was missing. It hits him like a shot to the heart. 

No one even noticed he was gone.

He laughs because if he doesn’t laugh he is going to cry. The rage and disappointment directed at them and himself is too much to handle. He should have known. Dufresne couldn’t tell you who or what he was in that moment. He could feel O’Malley coming through. Laughter and tears combine and the other personality takes much joy in making the others suffer.

It wasn’t like he cared about the Medic, at least not too much. He was possessive of the original owner of the body yet the other personality did not like it when others caused harm to his property. 

Dufresne learned a valuable lesson. It wasn’t his friends which kept him sane all those years. It was O’Malley and only O’Malley.

**Author's Note:**

> Was I the only one who noticed that Doc seemed a little more forceful when it came to O'Malley? O'Malley seemed calmer and more willing to listen. Maybe this is because he is a true split personality now? I love when Doc is talking and O'Malley jumps in and Doc is like, "Please wait your turn." Hahaha! Love it! Hope you like the fic and thank you for reading! Have an awesome day!


End file.
